![[Explicit | Memories] Avatar](http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa53/shobogenzo_kaiin/butterfly_by_nickinicki.jpg)
Post by [Explicit | Memories] on Aug 27, 2009 9:41:26 GMT -6
Teh funneh...
1. Evil is 'Live' spelled backwards.
2. Tradgedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
3. When all else fails, read the instructions.
4. Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!!!
5. Don't you just hate it when you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
6. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
7. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
8. Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.
9. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
10. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
12. My dog thinks I'm crazy. I'll be back when I'm done arguing with him, Okay?
13. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
14. Always fogive your enemies. It will confuse the crap out of them.
15. I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on Ebay.
16. OMG it's a muffin!
17. My heart belongs to what's-his-face.
18. Did you just call me a pregnant dog? Well, a pregnant dog is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, and trees give us life, so yeah thanks for the compliment.
19. It's soooo misrable without you, it's like your actually here.
20. A broken heart is like a broken mirror, it's better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to fix it.
21. Our friendship came and went and that is why your feet are now in wet cement.
22. Common sence is so uncommon it's a d**n superpower.
23. You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same.
24. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
25. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
26. If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
27. Forget about the people who are in your past, there's always a reason they didn't make it to your future.
28. He said 'I loved you' and I sneezed and said i was allergic to .
29. Cool is sooooo ove - , which is why I'm a freak!
30. Best friends
- We dance like we're retarded
- Laugh like we're freaks
- Sing like we're on drugs
- But hey, we're having fun
31. I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
32. Kill my joke, I break your neck.
33. I'm not retarded, I just like licking windows.
34. I'm sorry, i dont know how to say "screw you" politely.
35. Wounds that cannot be seen are more painful than visible wounds a doctor can heal.
36. The police never think it's as funny as you do.
37. HEY! I have a life. I just choose to spend it online.
38. I steal sporks from Taco Bell.
39. The person that smiles when everything goes wrong has thought of someone to blame it all on.
40. So.... what's the speed of dark?
'When Life gives you ... jokes'
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
When life gives you jokes, don't use them.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make them SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
When life gives you lemons, make Apple Juice.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you poisionous snakes, make them your slaves.
When life gives you lemons, go find people with papercuts.
When life gives you lemons, FIRE THE TORPEDOS!
1. Evil is 'Live' spelled backwards.
2. Tradgedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
3. When all else fails, read the instructions.
4. Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!!!
5. Don't you just hate it when you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
6. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
7. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
8. Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.
9. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
10. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
12. My dog thinks I'm crazy. I'll be back when I'm done arguing with him, Okay?
13. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
14. Always fogive your enemies. It will confuse the crap out of them.
15. I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on Ebay.
16. OMG it's a muffin!
17. My heart belongs to what's-his-face.
18. Did you just call me a pregnant dog? Well, a pregnant dog is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, and trees give us life, so yeah thanks for the compliment.
19. It's soooo misrable without you, it's like your actually here.
20. A broken heart is like a broken mirror, it's better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to fix it.
21. Our friendship came and went and that is why your feet are now in wet cement.
22. Common sence is so uncommon it's a d**n superpower.
23. You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same.
24. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
25. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
26. If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
27. Forget about the people who are in your past, there's always a reason they didn't make it to your future.
28. He said 'I loved you' and I sneezed and said i was allergic to .
29. Cool is sooooo ove - , which is why I'm a freak!
30. Best friends
- We dance like we're retarded
- Laugh like we're freaks
- Sing like we're on drugs
- But hey, we're having fun
31. I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
32. Kill my joke, I break your neck.
33. I'm not retarded, I just like licking windows.
34. I'm sorry, i dont know how to say "screw you" politely.
35. Wounds that cannot be seen are more painful than visible wounds a doctor can heal.
36. The police never think it's as funny as you do.
37. HEY! I have a life. I just choose to spend it online.
38. I steal sporks from Taco Bell.
39. The person that smiles when everything goes wrong has thought of someone to blame it all on.
40. So.... what's the speed of dark?
'When Life gives you ... jokes'
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
When life gives you jokes, don't use them.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make them SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
When life gives you lemons, make Apple Juice.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you poisionous snakes, make them your slaves.
When life gives you lemons, go find people with papercuts.
When life gives you lemons, FIRE THE TORPEDOS!
